Regulation, Licensing and the lash

Whilst browsing I came across a little known 12th century document transcription describing regulations on communications in the Duchy of Camberwick.

Know that by the mercy of God and the common counsel of the barons of the whole Duchy of Camberwick. I have been crowned Duke of said dukedom; and because the dukedom had been oppressed by unjust exactions, I, through fear of god and the love which I have toward you all, do hereby declare the following to be set into law:
As Duke I claim sovereignty over the tongues of men, and henceforth none shall use their tongues to speak save that I or sheriffs of the Duchy of Camberwick shall be capable of transcribing that which they speak of. This is to prevent foul knaves and other villains from plotting against your benevolent Duke or from planning misdeeds against the good, honest people of Camberwick.
Do persons wish to speak, they must henceforth construct a special house, or may use a speaking house constructed by others, in which to do so. This house must be accessible at all times by the Duke and his sheriffs, and tunnels must be dug, at the expense of the speakers, from the speaking house to the castle, for the purpose of conveying the sheriffs of the Duke in secret, that they may transcribe any matters being spoken of. Every Speaking House must be given the Dukes official seal before it can be used.
Should any speaker, even though it may be within the boundaries of the speaking house, attempt to speak in a foreign tongue with another speaker, they shall immediately have their tongues removed by the sheriff and the sherrifs shall have the right to search and examine all of their possessions for signs of insurrection. Should no signs of insurrection be found, trial by fire may be used to extract a confession of wrongdoing. Speaking of particular things, that are considered wasteful of time and serving no purpose, which shall henceforth be referred to as Go-sipping, shall be likely interpreted as speaking in code and both tongues of the persons partaking shall be immediately removed.
Any speakers, having built a speaking house, and granting access to others in return for gold or silver coin must pay a tax to the Duke.
Any person found speaking outside a speaking house will immediately forfeit their right to a tongue and it shall be removed forthwith.
Any non-tongue based communication must be performed in a separate house, specially designed for the purpose of that particular form of communication. All of these forms of communication must be explained, in detail, to the Duke and his sheriffs such that the design of the house can be created. The Duke may refuse the request to communicate due to the large monies and time involved in ensuring that the people of Camberwick can expect the same quality as is provided by the official Speaking Houses.
The Duke will also provide up to date information on events within Camberwick via the Town Crier system. Anyone listening to the Town Crier must pay a tax to the Duke for the priviledge. Any person who does not pay shall have their ears cut off and be rendered deaf by standing next to a cannon when discharging. Town Criers must be licensed by the Duke.
With these measures, the Duke is confident that the people of Camberwick will feel safe and secure, and be assured that the Duke will provide the facilities to allow use of new technologies such as script or ‘wryting’ and there are even plans for a ‘Prynting House’ where everyone in the house is able to see their own copy of the ‘wryting’. Combined with the Town Crier, it will be possible to organize events of many people in one Prynting House where people can have their own copies of ‘Ode to the Duke of Camberwick’ and other uplifting material. Taxes will of course be applied to all materials.

The world has moved on a bit since the 12th century, hasn't it??

The Duchy of Camberwick was incorporated into the Duchy of Newbury, after it became unsustainable (due to emigration), however the lessons were not learned and the Duchy of Newbury also ceased to exist after a protracted period of declining population.

Normal service resumes next post...